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“Love is . . ." (out of the mouths of babes)!
- "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby (age 7)
- “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca (age 8)
- "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and
Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." Emily (age 8)
- "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." Nikka (age 6)
- "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, and then he wears it everyday." Noelle (age 7)
- "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine (age 5)
- "Love is when your puppy licks your face, even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann (age 4)
- "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren (age 4)
- "You really shouldn't say 'I love you,' unless you mean it. But, if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica (age 8)
DUTY LOVE
A Latin Proverb affirms: “Love cannot be commanded.”
Not so fast.
Jesus said, "This is my command: Love each other." (John 15:17). In fact, Jesus regarded the command to love as the greatest commandment
(Mark 12:28-34).
Jesus understood love, not as some accidental blessing coming out of the blue, but as a command to be observed. Christian love is not a cozy
place to fall; it is intentional obedience to Jesus' primary command.
Does Jesus think he can place an order for love and expect us to march to it? Has he reduced love down to a duty? In a word: Yes!
How unromantic! Isn't love supposed to be a many splendored thing? What about it’s spontaneity? Its complexities? I thought love was a perplexing mystery that even Shakespeare could not simplify. Yet Jesus seems to be saying: "Just do it!"
He is. Not only that, He did it.
If Jesus' death is the highest demonstration of love, then spontaneity does not define it well. The cross was the culmination of God's intentional plan from the beginning. Jesus was born to carry out his duty to hang on the cross in our place. It was not enough for Jesus to just talk about love without dealing head on with our sin. So he did his God-given duty. That's love!
Soren Kierkegaard (Danish philosopher) got the point; “Only when it is a duty to love, only then is love eternally secure against every change, eternally made free . . . eternally and happily secure against despair." (Works of Love, 1847). He continued, "When it is a duty... to love the men we see, there is no limit to love.”
Unlike the kid’s quotes above, we easily get off-target with regard to love.
1. We expect love to be a prize instead of a sacrifice.
2. We look for bliss and not blood, sweat and tears.
3. We think it is something we get, not something we give.
4. We seem to think that love is more talk than walk.
5. We forget that love is a Christian duty.
ROMANTIC LOVE
But what about love between opposite sexes? And what about lust?
Jesus saw a difference between love and lust. He preached, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27).
Martin Luther once admitted that we cannot prevent birds from flying over our heads but we can stop them from building a nest in our hair. That is the difference between natural, wholesome lust and beastly, out-of-control lust (which Jesus condemns). It’s a crucial difference.
Lust is a possessive sexual desire, anxious to be satisfied. “Getting it” is what matters. “Giving it,” however, is what love is about. It
has been said, “The only love you really ever have is the love you give away.”
Love at first sight is easy, but it’s probably not love. Love takes time to grow. Love at 9,999th sight is more like it. That’s supernatural!
Even with romantic love, duty love (shown by Jesus) must take the lead. Yet, some wholesome lust is also allowed -- on God’s glorious terms. Romance is sweetest with love, not lust, in the lead.
Relationships demand attention; even work. Practical upkeep is a huge part of love. Paul claimed that love endures, trusts and hopes all things. It can outlast anything. Lust, however, is a bright flash in the pan. You can’t get dinner cooked with just a flash.
The forces of evil try to blur the differences between the following:
1. Love and lust.
2. Marriage and cohabitation.
3. Art and pornography.
I do not deny some ambiguity in these real-life realms at the experiential level. Just don’t let the devil exploit it. His forces vigorously deny any clarity between moral poles. Don’t fall for this. The differences are vast.
What is the difference between a honeymoon and adultery? It’s not detectable on the surface by an outside observer (pardon the hypothetical suggestion). The differences have to do with past promises, present attitudes, and future consequences. The main difference is that honeymoons come from love and adultery, from lust.
On its own, lust is bound to the surface where selfishness rules. In contrast, when the satisfaction and security of another means more to you than your own, that’s love.
Let's give a child the last word:
- "There are two kinds of love. Our love and God's love. But God makes both kinds of them." Jenny (age 8)
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